November 24, 2025

Let Go...Or Be Dragged

Aparigraha & The Art Of Release

This week, I’m inviting us into a practice that feels especially timely as we move toward the end of the year and through the changing seasons of our lives: Aparigraha.

In yogic philosophy, Aparigraha is the art of non-grasping and non-possessiveness. It’s a soft but powerful invitation to release the excess-physical clutter, old expectations, worn-out stories, and identities we’ve outgrown—so we can meet life with more clarity, freedom, and ease.

When we loosen our grip on what we think we must hold, something beautiful happens: space opens. Space in our minds, in our hearts, and even in our homes. Space for breath, for presence, for peace. Aparigraha teaches that when we stop clinging, we become more open to receiving what is truly aligned, supportive, and meant for us.

Our attachments are often what make it so hard to accept change—
and yet everything, always, is in a constant state of change.

Change is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.

There’s a Zen proverb I return to often: “Let go… or be dragged.”

I appreciate a good, blunt one-liner, and this one gets right to the point.

Clinging—whether to people, expectations, identities, habits, or the way we think life should be—not only creates but prolongs our suffering. 

Freedom is a choice. When we stop gripping so tightly, we become free. When nothing owns us—not our stuff, not our patterns, not our stories—we move through life with a kind of ease that feels almost… spiritual. 

Because it is. 

This proverb always brings me back to a summer at our cottage years ago. A family friend, Marissa, was learning to water ski.

She got the standard instructions: hold the rope, keep your skis parallel, let the boat pull you.

But when she took a nosedive, instead of letting go of the rope, she held on for dear life—face-down, being dragged behind the boat across the bay. Glub...glub...glub.

I remember thinking, “Why isn’t she letting go?”  as I watched her drink gallons of lake water it was almost as if she didn't know that letting go was an option. It was the obvious thing to do and would have saved her so much unnecessary suffering.

We do the same thing in various areas of our own lives, don't we? It's not just Marissa. Have you ever held on to someone or something long past the moment when releasing would be the easier, kinder choice? I certainly have.

This concept also reminds me of the monkey who traps itself outside the cage. The bars aren’t the prison—the monkeys own attachment and unwillingness to let go of the object or desire is.

 All the monkey has to do is open its hand and let the banana go to be free. Freedom is on the other side of release.

So why is it so hard to let go when our freedom is right there?

Because holding on feels familiar. Because we have desires. We have attachments. 
Holding on feels like control. It feels like safety. Even when it’s the very thing dragging us under or keeping us stuck.

Letting go and the practice of Aparigraha (non-attachmnet) is one of those practices that can take a minute to understand—and a lifetime to master. A lesson we learn again and again… often the hard way, and only because we overcomplicate what is, at its essence, incredibly simple:

A choice.

We choose our freedom.

Grasp and cling?
Or release and allow?

Whether it’s a ski rope, a banana, a relationship, a house, an identity, or a familiar-but-outgrown way of being—the principle is the same:

Freedom doesn’t arrive when circumstances change.

Freedom begins the moment we stop fighting them.

When we stop gripping, stop resisting, stop trying to control the uncontrollable…
life opens. Life moves. Life breathes. 

When we’re attached to nothing, we become available to everything.
And that, perhaps, is the truest freedom of all.

I’ve had plenty of chances to lean into this practice—just as I imagine you have—through business transitions, relationship shifts, moves across cities, countries, even continents, and all the unexpected pivots life brings.

Each chapter asked me to release past versions of myself and loosen my grip on what once felt familiar. With every move, there was a physical letting go too—boxes, belongings, clothing—pieces of a life I no longer needed to carry.

When I moved back from London, I returned with nothing but a single carry-on. It felt strange at first, as if something was missing. And in a way, something was: an old version of me I had outgrown and intentionally left behind.

Months later, when my shipment of “stuff” finally arrived, I unpacked the boxes and realized… I didn’t need any of it. I didn’t miss it. I didn’t even want it.

Except for a few classics—like my furry faux leopard coat, which I was genuinely happy to have back—everything else felt like it belonged to someone I no longer was. Most of it could have been replaced for far less money, far less time, and far less hassle than arranging international shipping.

Ah. Yet another opportunity to release and let go. Creating donation bags is a wonderful way to practice Aparigraha and give back to the community.

Shipping my old life into my new one was an expensive and powerful lesson in non-attachment. 

How freeing it is to travel through life with a carry-on instead of dragging around a shipping container. 

May you find freedom in letting go, and discover just how beautifully life expands when your hands—and heart—are open.

An invitation to reflect:

Where might freedom be waiting for you to choose it?

Freedom is a choice.
And it’s available—always—in the letting go.

With love,

Lindsay 💙

xo

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